As a show of protest against the sporadic killing of unarmed black men, Colin Kaepernick opted to sit down, instead of the customary standing, while the US national anthem was being played during a pregame rite in 2016. He would go on to change his posture to take the knee while the anthem played in subsequent games. Following other highly publicized killings of black men in the hands of the police, a few other colleagues, in solidarity with Kap, also opted out of standing during the anthem.

While the participating NFL players continued to reiterate that kneeling during the anthem was solely meant as an act of protest against racially charged injustice, conservative pundits spun it as an act of disrespect to the flag and the anthem.

In response to the outrage opposing this chosen form of protest, American rapper and leading candidate for best-rapper-with-a-fire-Twitter-account Vince Staples, semi-jokingly retorted in a since deleted tweet; “national anthem don’t even slap.” In order words, getting fake mad about a sauce-less National anthem is just tragic.

Bringing it closer to home, Vince Staples’ tweet applies perfectly to our own anthem, which is just as sauce-less. I mean, it’s democracy day, we might as well take a knee and protest the things we need to get much better. And with all due respect to Mr. Odiase, our national anthem is one of those things that desperately needs to be rejigged replaced.

Don’t get fake mad at me, let’s level and be frank; (y)our national anthem doesn’t slap, and with all the things Nigerians endure in this country on a daily basis, that’s very tragic. I have to listen to people sing it every week at CDS gatherings, and boy, I’m tired of how it’s so dreary and staid. Fam, the excitement it brings is the same as watching paint dry, urghh. (Am I allowed to type “Fam” and “Urghh” @thechiaman?)

Instead of dribbling around why (y)our national anthem is blehh, allow me to propose a more suitable replacement: Burna Boy’s “Ye.” Before I continue with this TED talk, if you dislike this “gbedu wey dey ja bata,” and/or want to contest my totally logical proposition, you’re part of this country’s problems.

According to folklore, Burna Boy recorded “Ye” while severely faded, at a certain Lagos nightclub where those who don’t have iPhones can’t gain entry (looks at self with pity). Obviously, “Ye” is a very stream of conscious song, more casual (not freaky, please) Friday than the Monday to Thursday, suit and choking tie disposition of the present anthem. The Crux of “Ye” is simple, one that every Nigerian can relate to: “I no wan die, I wan enjoy.”

Say what you want about artists interpolating Fela lyrics for their own reinterpretations, but Burna Boy’s sentiment mirrors the struggle for personal satisfaction, independent of what the government has (or does not have) to offer. With every repetitive chant of its onomatopoeic title on the hook, you’re guaranteed to feel that shit in your bones. I’ve listened to “Ye” 1,766 times(I won’t answer any questions disputing those number of plays. Who are you? Sho mo age mi ni?), and I’ve felt it every single time.

“Ye” is frivolous and self centered, a stark contrast from the serious, faux patriotism (y)our national anthem tries to inspire. Lord knows “Ye” not only mirrors the normal Nigerian citizen, it also reflects the individualistic mindset of our country’s politicians. I’m pretty sure a particular senator known more for his dancing shoes than actual policymaking would make an excellent sponsor for this proposed bill.

With a couple of lines in Yoruba, “Ye” might need to be translated into as many local languages as possible without losing its sauce (I’d like to hear an Hausa version, hella flame emojis sure to pop off.) Once “Ye” becomes nationally inclusive, I wonder the objections any sane person would come up with.

Have I mentioned that “Ye” slaps?

Phantom’s apt beat is a vibe and a bop, the bounce of beefy drums and slip-n-slide piano chords are a deliciously infectious combo. Even with its grooviness, it is actually possible to be stationary while “Ye” plays, but i doubt anyone would want do that, though. Besides, anyone who would want to disrespect our new anthem will eventually get lost in its sauce.